I really wanted to like The 40-Year-Old Virgin.

It is, after all, written and directed by Judd Apatow, whose intelligent take on high-school life in Freaks and Geeks was widely praised, if seen by too few TV watchers.  It gives a starring shot to two likeable actors, Steve Carrell (Anchorman) and Catherine Keener (The Interpreter) best known for supporting roles.

And the tender and believable relationship between Andy (Carrell) and Trish (Keener) explores some mature emotional issues, among them how to build a relationship when you are already more than a couple. (Trish has three kids and – gasp! – a grandchild.)

Unfortunately, these characters and relationships, with all the strong potential they have for a warm romantic comedy, have been wrapped in the trappings of sex farce – gross-out jokes and an immature fixation on sexual acts that belie the maturity of its protagonists.  The elements of the dueling genres co-exist uncomfortably at best.

The set-up is simple: when Andy’s work friends (Paul Rudd, Romany Malco, and Seth Rogen) discover his sexual innocence, they conspire to help overcome his “problem,” offering crude advice from their experience of the singles scene.  That they are hardly the best models for an adult relationship is immediately obvious to anyone with the slightest discernment; that Andy, an intelligent nice guy, should take their advice begs credulity. 

            Ironically, Andy demonstrates early on that he is quite capable of negotiating his own relationship.  When 40-ish Trish comes into the electronics store where they work, the others pass her off, but Andy treats her kindly, gives her good advice, and is rewarded with her phone number.

            Andy’s approach to the object of his affection is respectful and it seems likely he will succeed without their help, but the friends are still full of idiotic advice.  “You don’t want to have sex with someone you like; you’ll be so bad at it,” they advise, detouring Andy into the futile pursuit of meaningless sex –  the goal being to seem experienced when he and Trish finally get together. 

            The wrong-headedness of the friends’ advice is brought home by the contrast between the artificial, painful socializing that they impose on him – noisy singles’ bars filled with girls 20 years younger than he is and a “speed-dating” interview session – and the simple, corny fun he and Trish have on their first dinner date at a Japanese restaurant.

            In fairness, Andy and Trish’s relationship suggests that The 40-Year-Old Virgin wants to uphold the idea of a more mature, slower-paced relationship.  Certainly, the question of sex complicates relationships at every level, from that of Trish’s 16-year-old daughter who wants to go on the pill to Trish and Andy themselves, who impose a “take-it-slow” approach after almost consummating the relationship (and ending the movie) on that first date.

            But here the machinery of the sex romp gets in the way.  While the central relationship is (potentially) mature, the humor is all sophomoric – as in a sequence of visual jokes about condoms, or a segment where two characters try for laughs by enumerating unfunny reasons why each other must be gay.

            No doubt, Virgin will make money – the continued popularity of the American Pie franchise and There’s Something About Mary shows that there is a large audience for this kind of raunchy sexual humor.  Too bad – a lot of intelligence and talent was wasted to produce this film.

** --- **

            While I’m on the soapbox – isn’t it about time Carmike Theatres replaced the public-service announcement featuring the moose from Brother Bear?  The print is scratchy and the message, though important, is so familiar it is unlikely to influence the audience much.  Just asking. . . .

 This review appeared in the Aberdeen American News on August 21, 2005.

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This page last updated on September 11, 2005.